Thursday, June 24, 2010

Crushed Ice: BiBi's Commentary

Greetings Humans! My name is BiBi...

Who am I? you ask...

WHO AM I???!

I'm this lovely guy:


I'm the one who put the PENGUIN in 'Samurai Penguin Studios'

Listen bub, I'm a lot of things, but MASCOT is not one of them. A mascot is one of those bumbling fools you see running around sports stadiums in 103 degree weather, trying to rile up a crowd of simmians so they can earn some pocket change before the sweat to death.
Do I look anywhere near stupid enough for that line of work?
I didn't think so.

I, am an ICON. No, not the kind you click on to open your recycle bin. The other kind.
See, I'm in charge around here. Those humans who work on the place, they may run things, but this is MY Shrine.

My Shrine. It's been in the family for generations. I know, it's a little out of the way, and I don't have much in the way of flora for a shrine, but what do you expect of a place that spends three months out of the year in pitch black darkness? Want a snow cone?

Anyway... Wait, what do you mean: "How are you operating a computer with flippers?"
Would you like to ask that question after I use my katana to rearrange your vital organs for my next post-modern impressionism work?! HUH!?

Apollogy Accepted. We're all bipeds around here.

Well... Most of us. Been a lot of cat-girls lately. Mostly complaining about the cold- "DON'T USE THE TORI FOR A SCRATCHING POST! IF THAT THING HAS EVEN THE SMALLEST CRACK, THE ICE WILL DESTROY IT IN A WEEK!"

I'm not all too fond of cats, being a bird and all. But I put of with them, and I can wave my mastery of the skies in their faces.

Yes, YES, I CAN fly. I'm a licensed pilot and own my own Learjet. So EAT THAT!
Anyway... A little commentary. My pet, ATC... Nice guy really. Complains about the cold a bit much, but then again, this is the antarctic. He works on this and that, but a few months ago I was getting concerned about his weight. He's not absurdly overweight or anything, for a human anyway... But do remember he's not built to store blubber so he can spend twelve weeks trying not to FREEZE to death.

So I says to him: "Find a way to shape up. It doesn't have to be fast, but find a way. You need it."

So what does the human do? He installs a pullup bar. Not a bad start. I think he needs some cardio too. He complains that he's been unable to keep up walking due to foot problems that keep cropping up. Ankles and such... Meh. I walk around bare-clawed in the snow. You see me complaining?

Either way, I am pleased he's made some progress. He started doing pull ups and chin ups. And starting from zero, he's up to nine at this point. Not a bad start. I suggested today he start doing leg-ups using that extra gear that came with his bar, work those abs. He's nowhere near as strong as me, but he'll get there with practice.

Now, I may not look strong, but believe you me, as an expert swordspenguin, I can drive my katana right to the hilt in even packed glacier ice. That stuff's not like your average ice cube. It's HARD. Oh, and the last Orca who thought I might make a good snack... Well, who likes Sushi? I've still got some left in the freezer.

Yeah, I eat a lot of frozen dinners.

Anyway, nice to see you monkeys, I'll be about.
Stay Frosty.
BiBi: ICON. Samurai Penguin Studios.

No comments:

Post a Comment